20/12/23

When I first heard about the concept for I Have Nothing, I was admittedly rather skeptical. The Crave Canada series follows the quest of comedian Carolyn Taylor (Baroness Von Sketch Show) to choreograph a professional, full-length pairs figure skating program to Whitney Houston’s “I Have Nothing” from The Bodyguard. Stemming from her teenage obsession with the 1988 Calgary Winter Olympics and after being hit with a brainwave when hearing “I Have Nothing” on the radio, Taylor makes it her mission to create the perfect program inspired by her muses, Katarina Witt and Kurt Browning. 

The figure skating world is not always so good at laughing at itself. Skating and comedy often do not mix. Therefore, how would a comedian fare in mixing the two mediums, and taking on the momentous task of choreographing for two legends of the sport, married couple Ekaterina Gordeeva and David Pelletier? 

How wrong my initial scepticism had been. The entire essence and heart of the show is driven by Carolyn Taylor’s deep-rooted love, respect, and admiration for the sport of figure skating and its wonderful athletes. Her attachment to the 1988 Winter Olympics in Calgary is all too relatable, harking back to a time when skating felt enchanting. Carolyn achieves the incredibly difficult task of recapturing the magic of figure skating at its heyday in the 1980s and 1990s, not least by including many of the stars who made the sport what it is today. 

Whilst one might have been inclined to believe that the entire premise is a joke, Carolyn makes it clear from the offset through conversations with friends and family that she is deadly serious about this project. She approaches everything with her endearing sense of humour and ability to laugh at herself, but never shies away from reminding the viewer how serious she is about creating a program worthy of two Olympic gold medalists.  

(L-R anticlockwise) Carolyn Taylor, David Pelletier, Sandra Bezic and Ekaterina Gordeeva © I Have Nothing

The project had a quick turnaround, with Carolyn wanting to be able to speak to and choreograph Katia and David as equals, whilst still maintaining the authenticity of being an outsider to the skating world. She was never a skater, and had barely skated before the project began. When discussing her preparation for the project, Carolyn likened it to the popular language learning app, Duolingo: 

“You can do your lessons and get your XP, and you feel like you’re learning” she explained, “but then you go and talk to a Spanish person, and you can’t understand a word.” Carolyn was given 7 pages of homework (including required reading, documentaries, links to iconic performances, necessary terminology and more) from her mentor, legendary choreographer Sandra Bezic, to get to grips with the basics of skating. She also watched as much skating content as she could in preparation. However, when it came to working with David and Katia it was unlike anything she had prepared for. 

Carolyn admits that the logistics of choreographing the program so quickly were difficult. They only had four days together, with limited time on the ice: 

“They can only be on the ice for two hours at a time, more like an hour and 45 minutes before they get tired,” Carolyn explains. “Then you can’t just stand around and talk to them because they’re going to get cold. You have things like this that your brain now has to organise, and you really have to manage the physical stuff with the conversational side.” 

This is evidenced by a distinct shift in tone midway through the series. What initially begins as a light-hearted affair, the show takes the viewer on an emotional rollercoaster as the reality of the task that Carolyn has set herself slowly sinks in. We watch her go on an inner journey as well as a practical one in choreographing her program. We feel her anxiety surrounding gaining the respect of Katia and David, acquiring the rights to the song, and ensuring the perfect final show. By dealing with both logistical issues and an inner battle with herself, Carolyn becomes someone who you can’t help but wholeheartedly root for throughout. 

The range of supporting characters throughout the series are equally as loveable. Sandra Bezic shines as Carolyn’s mentor with her dry, impeccably timed sense of humour that the viewer knows comes from a place of love. However, Sandra admitted that she was also initially wary of the concept: 

“I was really nervous about skating as fodder for comedy, because I think we do a good job ourselves of being a joke sometimes,” she explained. Despite these initial thoughts, as soon as she read the pitch and met with Carolyn over Zoom, she was in. 

Sandra Bezic and Carolyn Taylor © @sandrabezic (Instagram)

Interestingly, Sandra never expected to be on camera. When she was asked to mentor Carolyn, she assumed that it would be an off-camera, behind-the-scenes role: 

“My role grew from a small consulting position, because I was the one who knew about skating and had the skating contacts.” However, her role turned out to be vital in helping Carolyn grow in confidence as a choreographer. Sandra expertly mentors Carolyn whilst giving her the space to find her own feet, style, and ultimately, confidence. Not once does the viewer find her overbearing. At various moments when the duo is working with Katia and David, one might expect her to jump in with a comment or criticism, but she simply stands back and lets Carolyn find her own way out, ultimately allowing her to spread her wings. 

The inclusion of Katia Gordeeva and David Pelletier solidifies the show’s link with the Calgary Olympics and the ‘golden era’ of skating, and one can’t imagine any other pair taking on the task of working with Carolyn. Admittedly, as a skating fan, it is often impossible to separate Katia from her late husband and skating partner, Sergei Grinkov. However, a highlight of the series is that viewers get to see what Sandra confirms is ‘the real Katia.’ She shines with David, and we are treated to her wonderful sense of humour that we don’t often get to see.   

However, the show also pays tribute to Sergei in its own subtle ways throughout. The balance is expertly and delicately struck, reminding the viewer of where Katia started whilst also showing us just how far she’s come. Katia and David’s love for the sport and each other is evident throughout the series, and despite some initial scepticism, their growing rapport with Carolyn is a joy to watch. 

I Have Nothing is full to the brim with cameo appearances from skating stars, both former and current. Elladj Baldé, Kurt Browning and Brian Orser are as charming as ever, offering Carolyn key advice and allowing her to grow her confidence as a skater and a choreographer. The inclusion of current world champion pairs team, Riku Miura and Ryuichi Kihara, and 1984 world champions, Barbara Underhill and Paul Martini, also bridges the gap between old and new. We also briefly see Olympians such as Elizabeth Manley, Kristi Yamaguchi, Tara Lipinski and Adam Rippon, evidencing just how much of the skating community Carolyn was able to inspire to become involved.  

(L-R) Sandra Bezic, Carolyn Taylor and Kurt Browning © @carolyntaylorofficial (Instagram)

The overarching presence of Katarina Witt as the inspiration for the entire project is also felt throughout. The love and respect that Carolyn has for Witt is incredibly touching, and a continual reminder of why she has chosen to undertake something so monumental. What is also incredibly telling of Katia Gordeeva’s character is that she threw herself wholeheartedly into emulating Katarina, the muse, throughout the performance.  

In addition to skating stars, comedian and close friend Mae Martin (Feel Good) serves as a hilarious reminder of Carolyn Taylor’s huge ambition. Their constant look of disbelief as people begin to treat Carolyn like an esteemed choreographer toward the end of the series is a wonderful indicator of just how far the project has come. Their chemistry and sweet interactions with Sandra Bezic are a highlight of the final episode, and their genuine friendship with Carolyn is a joy to watch throughout.   

I Have Nothing is an ambitious project that on paper, probably shouldn’t have worked. However, due to Carolyn Taylor’s drive, humility and utmost respect for skating, she has created something truly magical for skating and non-skating fans alike. The show is centered around skating, and yet it’s also about so much more. We get to watch Carolyn make an ambitious dream become reality, and as such, are inspired to do so with our own. By drawing inspiration from the past and merging it with the present, Carolyn reminds us just how powerful a tool figure skating can truly be.  

I Have Nothing is available to stream on Crave Canada.